I was talking to a dear friend this morning, and she mentioned that something she ate last night “didn’t agree with her”. Funny how often as an elder adult, many things don’t agree with us–foods we eat, people we love, politicians…And, we sit with it, in one way or another–hehe.
Yet, the joy of aging, is yes, we have some strong opinions, thoughts, ideas, emotions and feelings about the world outside of us, based on our inner worlds, which after many years are pretty damn large!
I no longer make apologies for my disagreements, as I recognize that time is shorter now, I have no idea how long I might have, so to just put up with, be ok with, placate, be nice, etc. doesn’t serve me anymore. Sometimes I just disagree, and I resist, and maybe if someone or something or some situation doesn’t agree with me, I may just choose to speak my mind, or I may look away, or I might even have harsh/truthful things to say, or…I may just walk away. All are valid options in the elder world.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t care. On the contrary, after 62 years, I care very deeply and passionately about much, and about many, based on an understanding of what is truly precious.
Then there’s the “J” word. Hehe. “Omg, you’re so judgemental!”. Damn straight. After seeing much, experiencing much, and amassing tons of knowledge about many subjects, yes, I get to judge what’s right–for me, what works–for me, and what doesn’t, in my way of seeing–make sense–for me. What you choose to do is fine, for you. However, knowledge turns to wisdom with the element of time. You don’t have to agree with me, I’m totally cool/down with that. …And, I may, speak, keep silent, look away, or walk away, all wisely made choices for an elder.
But you know what? My heart is really big, it has to be to keep beating this long, so if I love you, my love for you is really big–that you can trust, though I may not always say it.
Time becomes precious for us elders, so, if you stay away too long we might just fade, or pass away. So please, if we matter at all to you, check in often, just to say hi, letting us know we matter to you, because one day, we won’t be there anymore, and regret is a really bitter thing to be with. Much love to all of you, and deepest gratitude for all the birthday wishes.
Soltahr